… I’m falling in deep sadness again.
I had been busy, travelling, exploring, running away… and exercising. The exercise always helps. When I returned home a few weeks ago that fell to pieces and slowly but surely the sadness is coming back. With the weight, and the comfort eating!
I am dating, sort of. I chatted to lots of men online and went on a couple of dates while I was abroad. And now here I am chatting to a couple of guys online and I’ve met another who I like a lot. He’s younger. Which is fine for me, but I’m aware that he probably wants things that I cannot offer him.
The above reads a lot like I am feeling sorry for myself. That’s because I am. I fell out with my best friend about a year ago and now it’s just me, myself and I. It’s lonely not having a confidant… a buddy who gives a shit on a daily basis. Which is one of the things I really like about this younger dude. Let’s call him Frank.
So the above, a global economic crisis, austerity, my complete lack of access to funds over the next few weeks… it’s not looking great. Now what. I am moving house, hoping to let go of all the baggage that I have been clinging on to in the past few years… time to put it all aside and jump right off that cliff. I’ll be fine, where I’ll land I don’t know. But I will land.
Time to think Coco.
“She (Coco) made vulnerability ferocious and rebellion, sexy; she made the practical, elegant, and elegance — a visible result of a style revolution that must begin inside, when you decide that all your parts (mind, body, heart & style) are created equal and none should be sacrificed at the expense of another.”
Coco said “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.”
And “If a woman is poorly dressed, you notice her dress, and if she’s impeccably dressed, you notice the woman.”
And “Elegance is not the prerogative of those who have just escaped from adolescence, but of those who have already taken possession of their future.”
And “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”